The Monkey On My Shoulder…

What the hell happened? One moment I was having a much needed rest following my Janathon exploits, and the next it was the middle of February. For the last couple of weeks I have sat about doing ‘not a lot’, and gone about the employment of time in a profitless and non-practical way. Alas, I am a creature of habit. It is clear that running has not yet displaced the habits of a lifetime. Sitting, eating, drinking.

And yet, it plays on my mind, not running. I have been sleeping badly, tossing and turning, the road calling to me, my mind restless. Uncomfortable thoughts worm their way through my sub-conscious and sit atop my emotions… I have been drinking too much, drowning out these annoyances, convinced that all will be well and I’ll pick it up again tomorrow. My old vices have been coming home to roost, and time flies when you’re having fun…

And there it is, the monkey on my shoulder. Whatever it is I do (running, drinking, talking) I have a pre-disposition to do it to excess. January came and went in a blur of aches, pains and runners high…  It didn’t become a way of life, it became a way of living which was unsustainable. January and Janathon had become one, my day structured around where, when, with whom, and how far. The focus was on continuing rather than managing. I was surfing a wave, and when it stopped, so did I.

Time for a managed approach. Two days ago, I picked up my muddy Mizumo’s, donned the Skins that saved my legs during January, and hit the road… I felt great, so yesterday I did it again… another seven miles… and so it begins once more. Tonight I run again, the final session for the first round of beginner runners on my work based running course. Despite being on leave I am travelling to Stafford in order to complete the circle of support, and to visit the pub afterwards for some food and drink with my friends.

My Friends

My Friends

Am I running tonight through a sense of obligation, dedication or addiction? Probably a bit of all three. Sat as I do now, with aching leg muscles and a sore achilles, I’m wondering how I will balance these pre-disposing motivations going forward… or is this how it rolls?

Answers on a postcard please…


About Trenthamfolk

Marathon Runner, Optimist, Joie de vivre…
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One Response to The Monkey On My Shoulder…

  1. No answers here, but I think you have to have some kind of a balance. I am known to run obsessively for a month or two and then not run for an entire month — or worse (to me) is to run for 7 days straight and then take the rest of the month off. I think this is a form of burn out that I create on my own and balance is key. When I allow myself to run every other day, whether the road calls or not (and it calls ALL THE TIME) I feel better, I sleep better, I’m a nicer person to my children. I have found this works best if I also incorporate some time of strength work out on those non-running days. This is me and I’m just sharing for the sake of prosperity. I do wish you luck and hope you find what works for you.

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